Truth be Told
by corntey K
Summary: Harry's is in love, but is his love onesided? Can he handle rejection? PLEASE TAKE A LOOK! Slash. (This is a tad dark)


Okay…this is a Harry/Sirius. BE WARNED! This is kind of dark, and unlikely what Harry would normally do, but that's what makes it so much fun!

Rated: M ….or "R" (I guess, but go ahead and read it…swear I won't tell)

Ahem. I mean….IF YOUR UNDER AGE AND READ THIS I'll BITE UR ARSE OFF! _Thank God I'm not, lol!_

**Disclaimer**: Nope, I don't own Harry Potter.

**Truth be told**

"Say you love me."

"What?"

"I want to hear it."

It was only a week since Harry and Sirius had become intimate, but the Boy-Who-Lived was already becoming restless. First the young man was overcome with happiness, he was no longer alone and sharing his bed, having someone in his arms every night of the week was making him feel loved. All he'd ever wanted was to feel safe and a moment at peace, which is what Sirius provided. Unfortunately, the calm the man had brought soon subsided when Harry realized he had more than lust for his godfather. His feelings, just physical at first, had blossomed into a love that was stronger then it had once been for Sirius

He worshiped the broken man that swept him up repeatedly into sweet, desperate kissestaking pleasure in the fact that he could read Padfoot like a book just by looking into his magnetic blue eyesLoving the conversations that took place outside of their cozy bedroom, every word this man spoke enthralled Harry. Everything Sirius did now made Harry melt.

"Say you love me," Harry looked up with a little smile as he repeated the question.

"You know I love you, my little imp," Sirius chuckled.

"Yes, but do you really love me Sirius?"

"What do you mean, really love you?"

When Harry didn't respond, the answer seemed to dawn on Sirius, his eyes growing in size **as** he sat up in bed. Shock spread through the man before his expression died; leaving his face blank while he gazed at the boy in front of him, not uttering a word. With each second that passed Harry became more discouraged.

Harry mentally kicked himself. What had he been thinking?Sirius could never want to be in a serious relationship like he did. "Still, I love him…." Harry thought.

Suddenly, he understood his dilemma.Sirius would never love him as he didHarry's love was one sided and nothing he said could change that.

Silence seemed to last an eternity before Harry croaked:

"It doesn't matter if you don't love me, like I you. Just say it."

Sirius looked at a loss, but when the man saw the tears falling from the boy's eyes he said shakily, "Harry…we need to talk."

Harry knew what the man was about to say and the rejection that would come began to eat away at his sanity. He couldn't bare it; so before Sirius spoke a word, he exploded

"What are you going to tell me that I don't already know! That I'm a good fuck or is it that I remind you of James! That's it, isn't it? Do you like to pretend I'm him? When you touch my body, is it his face in place of mine!"

Sirius eyes were now popping out of his head as Harry continued to speak, his voice growing in volume.

"Just what the hell am I to you! I love you Sirius Black! DO YOU BLOODY HEAR ME! I FUCKING LOVE YOU!" After those last words were spoken, Harry sunk to the floor sobbing.

Sirius tensed looking at Harry's crumpled form. What should he tell Harry? Their relationship wasn't right, but Sirius really did love his godson more than any godfather should.

"Harry"

The older man proceeded toward the boy, getting ready to explain more, but, once again, he was stopped when Harry dashed from the room

"Damn it", Sirius said aloud, flopping down to lay on the mattress

Racing down the halls of Grimmauld, letting every muscle give away to a horrible burning sensation, its fire all consuming. Even so, Harry ran harder, the air smacking away the tears that stained his pale skin. Only did he stop when reaching a bathroom on the other side of the house. There, confined in the tiny room that smelled somewhat musty, he approached a mirror that hung high above a broken sink, flinching in disgust at his image.

He was truly his father's son. The same milky complexion, his long lean limbs, and lastly his father's trademark: a mass of disheveled black hair. The sight was more than the teen could bear. Why did he have to look so much like the man Sirius truly loved?

Without a thought left in his mind, besides disgust for the reflection lying in front of him, Harry hammered away at the mirror, smashing it with his fists. He punched the glass relentlessly until his knuckles felt like raw hamburger. Then he wearily sunk on to the cool tile beneath him.

Everything Harry wished to be true was falling apart, things morphing in to a cruel dream and he no longer cared if it ended up a happy ending.

Reaching out, he grabbed a chunk of jagged glass that had fallen to the floor, running his slim bloody fingers around its pointed edge. His tears had stopped. Harry's hopes had diminished and what he wanted was for everything to end. Never again having to face countless nightmares that forced him to re-account his parent's deaths, never again being forced to stay with the Dursley's and their overbearing attitudes, nor having to put up with Snape's unyielding hate, and no more Voldermort. Lastly, but most importantly he'd never have to feel the pain that came with loving Sirius. In return his godfather wouldn't have to put up with him and his nonsense.

The more he rationalized, the better the idea became, but in his heart Harry new this Gryffindor courage would not hold out long. Ifhe truly did wish to kill himself he'd have to do it quickly.

Suicide.

As the actual word ran through his head for the actions he was considering to take, he realized how brash this act truly was.

"I really don't care anymore", he choked out, caught in between his hysterical laughter, hopelessly trying to hold on to his last bit of nerve.

Slowly bringing the glass to his face, he let its point embed itself in his soft flesh.

It was another steamy July day.What Remus truly wanted to do was lay down in the shade with a good book and a glass of lemonade, but it would be a while before he could even think of such pleasantries. The war against Voldermort had just begun. He was constantly being called forth by the Order to go on missions, and God forbid he left Harry in Sirius's complete possession. Heaven only knows what trouble the two would cause if he were not there to baby-sit them.

So, today (like every other day) he was going to visit Harry and his best friend, have some tea, then dash out on errands that Dumbledore had given him directly.

Knowing better than to ring the doorbell because the portrait of Sirius's mother would awaken, not helping in the least with her unsubdued talent for yelling insults at whomever crossed her path, Lupin casually opened the door, then turned to swiftly shut it. He cautiously tiptoed in to the kitchen and was surprised to find Sirius and Harry were not there.

"Are they still sleeping", he wondered aloud. Looking down at his watch it read: 8:00. Well, it was rather early; normally Remus would have been here around 9: am. Deciding not to wake them he sat down in a chair beside a big wooden table, putting on his crescent reading glasses and opening up the Daily Prophet. While reading through various dreary articles an abrupt shattering noise caught his sensitive ears. He quickly rose to inspect the loud sound. Little did he know what mayhem awaited him.

His pores leaked a profuse amount of sweat, while the warm sticky blood trickled its way down Harry's visage. This uncomfortable heat that was growing within, on top of a now acute pain that coursed threw his cheek began to unnerve him. He wanted to feel more pain, not just this small bothersome cut that ached to be scratched.

Thus, throwing away his fears he began to stab.

First he punctured his cheek once more, then the nape of his neck (which blood flowed from like a river); in addition to this he created wounds along his forearms, torso and so on, until he was a fountain of gore.

Done with his masochist jaunt, Harry picked up a much bigger piece of glass to take a quick gander at his hurting face. As he did this, his lips twitched in protest as if wanting to cry out his body's misery, telling it to succumb to domineering agony.

Now looking at his reflection, the young male didn't even flinch as he saw the blood that caked his face. While taking in the sight, he really had to admit the skin from his cheek that had been gouged out made him look somewhat obscene. What made him look even more horrid was due to the crimson that mingled with the running flows of sweat that clung to him. Still, he was disappointed that he had not marred his features, he turned his head to inspect the rest of his body. It was almost as gruesome as his penetrated face; it was numerous little holes that oozed, the cuts were surprisingly deep

Quickly acknowledging the pools of red fluid that encircled him, he began to feel dizzy. He leaned up against the wall breathing rather harshly when a banging started against the bathroom door.

"Is everything alright in there?" rasped the voice.

It was Remus.

"Shit," Harry thought, "does that damn wolf have to come over every morning? He can't find me like this. I did, after all, attempt to kill myself (it could possibly become successful if he doesn't come in here), but the poor man might have a heart attack if he sees this.

"I'm fine," Harry tried to wheeze, but was inaudible.

"Harry?" Remus called again, but as the man moved closer to the door he suddenly stiffened.

Blood. The thick smell of blood filled his nostrils, making his body tremble.

"Harry!" He called out yet again. "Open this door!"

Losing his patience, Lupin burst through the door and let his vision clear before he took in the startling sight in front of him.

Thats all for this chapter.

This was supposed to be a one shot deal, but I am making two more chapters thanks to the suggestion of my editor Sorelina. The next chapter will be a tragic ending for this story, but than I plan to make an alternitive ending...more of a "happily ever after" deal.

Should I put Snape in this?

Please feel free to review!


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